What We Carry


Some people see five gallon buckets and think of chores they’d rather avoid.

They’re paint-splattered in the corner of a garage. Caked with drywall mud. Left behind after a job is finished and everyone’s already moved on. Cheap plastic. Replaceable. Something you grab when you need it and forget when you don’t.

On a farm, they become something else.

Five gallon buckets are essential to farming in a way that’s hard to explain until you live inside the rhythm of it. They’re there before the sun fully clears the horizon and still there when the light finally gives up. We use them to haul water to livestock tanks when hoses freeze solid or won’t reach far enough. We use the gator to carry feed from the barn to a small standalone trailer, buckets lifted and set down again, lined up inside where they’ll sit overnight, safe and dry, waiting. The next day, those same buckets are picked up again and carried into animal pens, one slow trip at a time, until everyone is fed.

Sometimes they hold tools. Sometimes they hold salt or minerals or whatever you needed to grab without thinking. Sometimes they’re empty, which somehow still feels like a promise, like they’re waiting for the next thing that needs doing.

They wear the work. Scratches from fences and trailer edges. Dents you don’t remember making. Plastic dulled by sun and weather. The handles squeak. One always seems to leak just enough to soak your boots, and you don’t remember which one it is until it’s already dripping. Dirt clings to the sides. Mud cakes the bottoms.

We have an array of them. Blues and whites and reds. Loud pinks that don’t belong anywhere else on the farm. Buckets with hardware store logos. Buckets from places we passed through once and didn’t think we’d remember. There’s a quiet joy in finding new colors and new designs, in something so practical still managing to feel personal. Like each one has a small story pressed into its sides.

They don’t get cleaned as often as they should. They don’t get put away neatly. They lean against barn doors, ride in the back of the gator, wait by gates and pens. And somehow, they’re always close when something breaks or spills or needs to be carried right now.

Farming is full of things like that. Tools that don’t look like much. Work that doesn’t photograph well. A life built from small, physical acts, repeated until your body remembers them even when your mind is tired.

Five gallon buckets aren’t romantic. They don’t make good stories on their own. But they live in the spaces between tasks. In the weight of water carried by hand. In the hollow sound of feed hitting the bottom. In the pause when you set one down, wipe your hands on your jeans, and look out across the pens before lifting it again.

Out here, they’re part of how the work moves forward. Part of how days are held together. Quiet witnesses to the fact that someone was here, doing what needed to be done, and will be back tomorrow to do it again.

Color At The Edge Of A Barren World

Tonight’s sunset wasn’t the boldest I have ever seen.
It didn’t streak across the sky in wild ribbons of fire or paint the clouds in colors that demand you stop everything just to feel alive. But after a week swallowed by grey, a week of barren fields and frozen winds and a world that looked like it had forgotten how to breathe, this small burst of color felt like a hand reaching out of the cold.

The kind of cold we had today doesn’t lend itself to beauty.
It bites through coats and gloves and makes your eyes water the second you step outside. It turns every inhale into a sting and makes even short walks feel like a punishment. The days have been long and heavy, the kind where the sky barely changes and everything feels muted or asleep.

That kind of winter wears on you.
It settles into the quiet places.
It makes you wonder if the sun remembers how to rise for you at all.

So when it finally pushed through tonight, just a thin line of orange pressed against the horizon, just enough pink and gold to soften the clouds, I felt something loosen inside me. Not joy. Not relief. More like a reminder. A small, almost trembling insistence that even the bleakest stretches eventually break.

There is something tender about sunsets like this.
The quiet ones.
The ones that don’t announce themselves.
The ones that look like they are offering whatever little light they have left, hoping it will be enough.

It hit me harder than I expected.
Maybe because everything has felt so dim lately.
Maybe because I am tired in the way winter makes you tired, tired in the way that comes from carrying invisible things for too long.
Maybe because every day has felt like it blends into the next, all of them silver and silent and cold.

But tonight, the sky remembered color.

It was not spectacular.
It was not loud.
But it was present.

And presence alone can feel like a miracle after so many days of nothing but grey. After so many hours of wind that cuts through you and fields that look lifeless and mornings that never fully brighten.

I stayed longer than I needed to, watching the last thin glow disappear behind the line of trees. The air stung my face. The cold settled deeper. But it felt worth it.

Because even if tomorrow returns to grey, even if the frozen world closes in again, at least I had this one moment. This one quiet offering of beauty. This one reminder that winter does not get the final word.

For a brief moment, color pushed through the cold.
For a brief moment, the world softened.
For a brief moment, I remembered that I am still here too.

After The Rain

This was April.
Mud season in South Dakota.
The kind of spring that doesn’t arrive all at once. It shows up in pieces. A little green here, a little sun there. Then rain. Then snow again. Then more rain. The kind that smells like thawed dirt and wet air. The kind that makes you believe something new might still grow.

We wait for it all winter.
We wait through the deep freeze, the dark mornings, the quiet that settles into your chest. We hold out for the day when the ground softens. When you can walk across the field and feel it shift under your boots. When you can breathe a little easier, even if nothing has bloomed yet.

That was one of those days.
It had just rained, and the sky cracked open for a minute. A rainbow stretched itself across the farmland like a whisper. You had to look up to see it, but it was there.

That’s our Gator in the front. Mud-streaked, worn in, still running. And the John Deere behind it, a little older, still waiting to be needed. Out here, the work never really stops. The equipment doesn’t ask what season it is. It just keeps going.

Spring felt like a beginning.
We watched goat kids find their footing in the mud. We hoped the frost hadn’t killed the roots. We looked for the first wildflowers on the edges of the fence line. Life returned quietly. Slowly. But it returned.

And now, months later, we’re preparing for winter again.
The sun sets earlier. The mornings are colder. You can feel it coming.

We check the machinery.
We fix what needs fixing.
We stack feed.
We make lists.
We brace ourselves.

This is the rhythm.
Hope, followed by work. Life, followed by stillness. We wait. We begin. We prepare. We do it all again.

But I still remember that day in April.
The softness after the storm.
The rainbow over the field.
The reminder that no matter how long or harsh the winter is, spring will come again.

The land always circles back.
And so do we.