If you asked me how today was, I’d probably smile and say it was good.

Because that’s what you do. That’s what we’ve all been trained to do—wrap our days in something tidy and digestible. Say “good” like it’s a full sentence. Like it means something.

But if you dug deeper—really dug, which rarely anyone does—I’d probably pause. And then I’d tell you something more honest.

Today felt like a fall day, even though it’s still August.
The kind of weather that slips in quietly and makes everything feel just a little more bearable. The sky was soft. The breeze was kind. One of those rare moments where it actually felt good to exist outside. Shorts and a t-shirt. No sweat. No chill. Just… comfortable.

But I didn’t eat all day.
Not because I was trying to prove anything.
Not because I forgot.
Just because I didn’t feel hungry. And even if I had, I didn’t really have much to eat. My first and only meal was half a baked potato around six. That was it.

I spent a lot of time sitting in the truck, tucked out of sight.
Not hiding, exactly. But not trying to be seen either.
I let the music fill the space, but not too loud—just enough to blur the silence.
I listened to nature too. Birds, wind, trees. I watched the leaves dance like they were showing off. And for a second, I envied them—how effortless it all looked. How sure they seemed of their place.

I did some random little tasks.
Laundry. Ran fans to an upper cabin. Put things away. Kept the walkie on, in case I was needed. Stayed useful. Stayed quiet. Stayed moving just enough to feel like I had a purpose.

And all the while, I kept wondering:
Is this ever gonna be enough?

This day.
This role.
This rhythm of being helpful but unseen, steady but silent.

It’s hard to explain to people how doing “good” things can still leave you feeling hollow.
How you can check off boxes, keep the place running, carry things no one sees—and still go to bed feeling like a ghost.

I guess that’s why most people don’t ask for the real answer.
And maybe that’s why I usually don’t give it.

But today?
Today was good.
And also?
It wasn’t.

It was soft weather and quiet hunger.
A little music. A little wind.
Some tasks done in the background.
And a question that won’t quite go away.